One of the most memorable lessons I learned about God came to me about 9 years ago. At the time I was a member of a small Bible study group that met biweekly. On one particular week, our discussion was about love, specifically receiving God’s unconditional love. We talked about the unconditional love of God, received a handout, and went home.
The following day I was praying in my closet and I asked God about the discussion. I couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around Him loving me unconditionally, just as I was. At the time I was in desperate need of love and acceptance. I had been living for God and going to church for about a year and a half at this point but I was still feeling deep guilt about my past sins.
Before I fully gave my heart to Jesus, I had been involved in sex before marriage with several men. I had been arrested for shoplifting. I had been a liar, a manipulator. I was prideful. I also dealt with a lot of rejection and not feeling good enough. And to be truthful, I was STILL dealing with many of those things (and much more). I felt guilty for all of my sins and shortcomings. I was a mess, so at this point, I was YEARNING to know that He actually loved and accepted me.
I remember crying out to Him, while holding the handout in my hand. I lifted it up and cried, “LORD, SHOW ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME! HELP ME UNDERSTAND.” At that moment I heard the Holy Spirit say, “close your eyes.” I did just that and immediately He took me into a vision. This is what He showed me.
There was a very tall man sitting at a dinner table. He had dark skin and long dark hair (he looked to be of Middle Eastern descent), and he was dressed in all white. He sat at a dinner table that was set up for two. The table was set beautifully – in fact, the whole house was immaculate. Everything was white.
He was sitting at this table alone and it was clear he was waiting on someone. He looked sad and disappointed. I could tell he had been waiting for a long time. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this man in the white was Jesus and that He was waiting on me. After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. When He opened it, I saw myself standing there and the state I was in shocked me.
I was wearing a short, black dress. My hair was disheveled and had leaves and dirt caked in it. My makeup was smeared. My dress was torn and there was semen and scratches running down my thighs. I could tell that when I left, I had been dressed and made up beautifully but something had happened while I was away and now I stood before the Lord looking horrendous. There was shame written all over my face. I was crying. I didn’t want to face Him the way I was. I was afraid of what He was going to say.
He stood at the door and looked at me, and without a word, He pulled me into the house and into His arms. Still silent, He picked me up and carried me to the bathroom where there was a bath waiting. He undressed me, placed me in the tub, and very gently started bathing me. As I watched all the filth wash off, I also stared at His face to see His reaction. I could tell that He was disgusted by the mess, but His eyes also showed me that He loved me deeply and that it was His pleasure to clean me up.
So it went, Him silently washing me- first my arms, then my chest, then my legs. When He went to wash between my legs, I tried to stop Him, putting my hand in front of my private area. I was so ashamed and didn’t want Him to see what I considered the dirtiest part of me. Undeterred, He spoke. He said, “Jasmine, I have to clean you. There is no part of you that is too dirty for me to touch.” I was floored at His compassion and immediately started to weep as I moved my hand and allowed Him to clean me. After the bath, He gently dried me off, dressed me in a white robe like the one He was wearing and proceeded to serve me dinner at the table He had already prepared for us.
I was left speechless after the Lord showed me that vision. I was overwhelmed and I really couldn’t process it all. What I did walk away with though, was the beginning of a journey of understanding and accepting God’s love for me. At that moment I learned that nothing I had ever done or could ever do would make Him love me any less. I learned that I didn’t have to be “fixed” before He would accept and love me. I learned that regardless of the state I was in, He still desperately wanted to be close to me. I realized then that I couldn’t wait to clean myself up before coming to Him because I desperately needed Him to wash me of my sin and shame.
Maybe you’re like I was. You don’t feel loved, worthy or even noticed. Maybe you’re still struggling to be what you think is a “better” person. Maybe you’ve always thought that your mistakes disqualified you from God;s love and acceptance. Maybe you’ve placed your love and hope in people who have hurt you and disappointed you.
I want to make this loud and clear, to whoever you are who is reading this: God is madly, deeply, and passionately in love with you. Period. That love and compassion He extended to me is not reserved for just me or a few select others, but it’s for every human being He has ever created and will ever create. I know many people have a warped perception of His character. People say that He’s an angry God, a judgemental tyrant, and a hard taskmaster. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, God HATES sin. Yes, God can possess wrath. Yes, God is a judge. But He is ALSO crazy in love with each and every one of us. Regardless of what we’ve done. Regardless of how far we have fallen. No matter, even, how we feel about Him.
Many times we feel guilt about our past and that keeps us from trying to be close to Him. Indeed, the Bible tells us that sin separates us from God, but it’s not a separation that He wants. God wants to be close to you. He wants you to be near to Him. You have to understand that God loves YOU more than He hates your sin.
“… So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
~ Isaiah 54:9b-10 (emphasis added)
In the years since God showed me that vision, I have learned so much about His love and how He feels toward us. Here are some of the main points:
- God is not holding you to your past (2 Corinthians 5:17).
- God’s love is strong enough to overcome any hurt, any rejection, any brokenness, any failure, any depression, any self-esteem issues, and anything else life may throw your way. (Hosea 2)
- God is madly in love with you. He thinks you are beautiful. You are precious and flawless to Him. (Song 4:7)
- There is nothing and no one that can make God stop loving you. (Romans 8:35-39)
- God’s love is not based on your performance. He loves the holiest saint just as much as the most horrible sinner. His love for the missionary and the atheist is the exact same. (Romans 5:8)
- People will hurt you. They will leave you and reject you, but God will never push you away. (John 6:37)
- God’s love is unique. It can not be duplicated because it is perfect. In fact, the Bible tells us that God is love. People can never love you unconditionally, because we’re imperfect; but God’s love is pure, perfect and complete. (1 John 4:8-16)
I could go on and on about God”s love. It is a massive, consuming, awe-inspiring, force that can’t even be put into words. It must be experienced. That may sound elusive and complicated but it’s really not. This is how I grew in my understanding and acceptance of His love.
Number 1: I chose to BELIEVE that He loves me and that I am safe with Him.
Number 2: I read as many scriptures as possible about His love and I studied them. I also listened to songs about His love
And finally, number 3: I reminded myself (and still do) that His love never ends, even when I feel it has.
~Jas
Bible Verses About God’s Love
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. ~ Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)
“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” ~ John 3:16 (NLT)
“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” ~ Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)
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