If you’ve been spending time on TikTok or Instagram, you’ve likely seen the term ‘soft life’ trending. While I usually don’t latch onto every new trending topic, the ‘soft life’ trend has been one I’m loving. 

So what is ‘soft life’?

Definitions of the term vary across the internet, but for the most part, the soft life is defined as a life of ease without requiring hard work, sacrifice, and unpleasantness.  Indeed if you take a dive into the #softlife tag on Instagram, you’ll see pictures and videos of (mainly) women taking exotic vacations, being pampered, dressing to the nines, and indulging in all manner of comfort and luxury. 

While it’s easy to want to escape into this lifestyle, it can also seem unattainable when you compare what you see online to your current life offline. Don’t despair though! Even if you don’t have money to go on expensive vacations or indulge in spa treatments, you too can live a soft life.

Living a soft life

The first thing we have to do is re-work this definition. If you’ve lived long enough, you know there is no way to eliminate all unpleasantness, hard work, or stress from life. Jesus, Himself promised us, “In this world, you will have trouble.” (John 16:33)

We can’t get around the fact that, oftentimes, life really is hard. Instead of striving to eliminate every trace of difficulty from our lives, we need to adjust our expectations of what a soft life truly is. 

For the purposes of this blog, I’m defining a soft life as: a life of divine alignment that is characterized by ease and is rooted in God’s empowering grace. 

Simply put, a soft life is a life that is led and empowered by God’s Holy Spirit. It is more about following God than it is about striving for things. A soft life places an emphasis on prioritizing your health, cultivating joy, and reducing unnecessary stress so you can show up and truly enjoy your life.

How to start living a soft life?

While you may not have the resources to book a vacation or a spa day, or hire a personal chef, there are simple practical things you can do to eliminate stress and live your best life. 

1 | Tap into God’s presence daily 

God’s presence is such a privilege. When we come to Him, He refreshes us, restores us, and guides us. Praying and studying His word connects us to Him. It is during these times of connection that He pours whatever we need into us. He will give us wisdom and strategies for how to govern our day, manage our workload, and care for our families. It is also in His presence where we find answers and wisdom for how to handle the difficulties that confront us day to day. God’s empowering presence is 100% a prerequisite for a soft life. 

2 | Prioritize your physical health 

 Your dreams can’t ever be realized if your body is too sick or worn down to help you carry them through. It’s hard to live a life of comfort and ease when your body is sick, tired, or in chronic pain. 

Simple changes can make a big difference. Incorporate healthier foods into your diet. Drink adequate amounts of water. Work out at least a few times a week. See your doctor regularly for your physical and gynecological exams. You can only do as much as your body can handle, so make it a priority and treat it well!

3 | Guard your mental health 

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health – maybe even more. It doesn’t matter how great everything is going on outside of you, if the inside of you (your mind) is sick, you won’t be able to enjoy any of it. 

Disconnect from social media regularly. The constant influx of information – much of it contentious, fear-inducing, and highly triggering – is not good for our souls. We need time away from the information overload to reset and make sure we don’t lose ourselves in the noise. 

Another way we can obtain a soft life in the area of our mental health is by seeking out therapy or counseling. If you find yourself anxious, depressed, angry, or “unhinged”  often, or if you’re dealing with a heavy heart due to past hurt or trauma, seeking spiritual and/or professional therapy may be the best way for you to heal. 

The good news is, therapy is becoming so normalized now that there are a variety of options and price points to choose from. Reach out to your church, friends, or family who are in therapy, o go to good ole’ Google to search for the option that might be best for you.

4 | Delegate when you feel overwhelmed 

I wrote about this in a previous blog post, but I feel it bears repeating: you cannot do it all yourself. D-E-L-E-G-A-T-E!

Most people tune this advice out because they immediately start thinking of all the reasons they can’t afford to hire help. I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be expensive or even cost money at all. 

Are you overwhelmed with household duties? Consider using a grocery delivery service like Instacart to handle your grocery shopping. You can take it a step further and use a meal delivery service like HelloFresh that will deliver meal kits to your home, complete with delicious recipes and all the ingredients portioned out for you. If the laundry is the bane of your existence, laundry services like SudShare will have someone pick up your dirty laundry and bring it back clean and neatly folded. 

While all of these cost money, they are a fraction of the cost of a personal chef, assistant, or housekeeper. Now if your budget is truly tight, don’t stress. Simply use the people in your home to help out. Your spouse, children, or roommate can pitch in and help lighten your load tremendously.

5 | Slow down 

Nothing stresses me out more than being rushed, but it seems like I am ALWAYS in a hurry. Recently the Holy Spirit gently rebuked me about this while I was, ironically, rushing to work. “Jasmine, you need to slow down. You’re always stressed because you’re always rushing. Just enjoy the ride.”

You can’t enjoy a soft life if you’re always rushing through it. Give yourself breathing room in your schedule. Learn to say “no” so you don’t overcommit yourself. The goal is to be fully present in every moment, not constantly thinking ahead and scurrying into the next moment. 

6 | Make time for rest

Sometimes doing nothing is everything. Being able to pump the brakes and just rest is a powerful form of self-care. When we rest we remind ourselves that our success is not totally dependent on us. We can sit back and relax because we know that even when we are not working, God is doing so on our behalf. 

The soft life is about divine alignment, remember? When we rest in God, we allow His peace to restore us and for His plans for us to unfold without our constant stressing and hustling.

7 | Be content 

Being content means you are satisfied and grateful for what you already have. It doesn’t mean you never want to get better or improve your situation, but rather that you’re satisfied with what you currently have until that time comes.

Being content means you don’t have to jump on every trend. You don’t have to redecorate your home or revamp your wardrobe every time a new style comes out. It means you don’t have to despise being single when you see others getting married. It means you don’t have to pick apart your husband when you see another woman on Instagram getting spoiled by hers. Contentment keeps us from stressing ourselves out with constant striving. It is the hallmark of a truly soft life.

Create a life you love

There are no set rules when it comes to living a soft life. I’ve shared my tips on living a softer life, but each woman has to decide what it looks like, and how to achieve it for herself. Ultimately living a soft life is about living in such a way that you are divinely aligned and rooted in God’s grace so you can show up and truly create a life that you love.