There’s always so much to do.

I came to this realization early into adulthood. I was a college freshman juggling five classes, a part-time job and volunteer work at a local church. It seemed like no matter what I did, there were never enough hours in the day to complete it all.

Seven years after graduating, although I’m in a completely different stage of life, I recently found myself feeling just as overloaded as I did as a young, single college student. Working, tending to a marriage, raising a toddler, establishing a blog, serving in ministry, and trying to have some type of me time always seem to be competing for my attention and I always feel like I can’t give myself to EVERYTHING and do it all WELL.

I know so many others can relate. Our culture is always moving at lightning speed. We’re taught to hustle, get the “bag” (that’s money, for all of you older folks), work out, tend to our kids, keep our marriage spicy, start a business, get a degree (or a few), and more,  all within the 168 hours we have in a week.

This makes it incredibly easy to overload ourselves. I learned this lesson the hard way when I recently took on way more than I could physically and mentally handle. After going crazy with overtime at work, I found myself physically sick and at my whit’s end.

Stretched way too thin.

 I have since dug myself out of the rut I was in and wanted to share some tips on what I’ve been doing so that you too can create more margin (space) in your schedule and life.

Tip 1: Prioritize sleep.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m stretched too thin, the first thing I sacrifice is sleep. It’s so tempting to eliminate rest when trying to accomplish your goals and complete your to-do list, especially in the hustle culture we live in today. I know far too many people who subscribe to the “I’m going to hustle all day and night. I can sleep when I’m dead” mindset. And that sort of thinking will have you dead a lot sooner than you’d like.

There is a reason that God commanded the people of Israel to work for only 6 days and rest on the seventh. Our bodies NEED sleep.

In Dr. Bob Harrison’s book Power Points for Increase, he quotes Bishop T.D. Jakes who refers to fatigue as “the silent cancer”. According to Bishop Jakes, “fatigue robs [people] of creativity and secretly steals their energy and discernment. Tired people are less careful. Even simple problems seem insurmountable. When fatigue robs people of their better judgment, they make permanent decisions based on the stress of temporary circumstances.”

You’re not at your best when you’re tired. Getting sleep is the best way to ensure that you have the mental and physical energy to tackle your goals in the most efficient way.

Tip 2: Trim the fat and learn to say “no”.

If you’re going to create more space in your life, you’re going to have to eliminate things that are not contributing positively to you. Take a look at what you spend your time on and be honest with yourself about what is a waste or simply doesn’t align with your values or current season of life.

For example, if you spend 7 hours a day on social media or binge watch Netflix all day, but can never find time to study, or start that business you’ve been dreaming of you’ve found a great deal of excess that you can trim. Maybe you could decrease your TV or social media time to just 1 hour a day.

Another example: if you’re a working mom who also has a side business and your kids are in extracurricular activities, maybe don’t also sign up to lead a small group at church that will require even more hours of your time to prepare and facilitate. You must learn to say “no” to yourself and to others when your “yes” would cause undue stress on your time.

This happened to me when I was a new mom. My Pastor called me one afternoon and asked me to be a small group coach. This would involve me leading a group of other small group leaders, visiting their groups and coaching them on how to improve, while also still running my own group. He told me they were only choosing 5 people and I was honored he had considered me. For years I had run a successful Bible study small group and loved it.

It was a dream role for me … but horrible timing. At the time my pastor asked me to be a group coach, my baby was only 4 months old. I was breastfeeding, working full time, trying to work on my marriage, and also a leader on my church’s prayer team. I knew I didn’t have the capacity to take on more. At the risk of disappointing him, I said, “Pastor Ken, I’m honored that you would ask me, but I have to decline. I’m still getting the hang of motherhood and my marriage is not doing well. My first ministry is my home.”

Thankfully, he was completely supportive and immediately started counseling me on ways to help ease the load I was under (also referred me to a licensed marriage therapist/counselor). As much as I hated turning down the opportunity, I knew taking it was not the right time.

You have to learn how to say “no”. There’s always going to be more things to do, more overtime to work, more business to push, more events to go to, but you have to be realistic about how much your schedule (and mental health) can handle.

Tip 3: Get organized.

Sometimes we’re stressed out not because we have too much going on, but because we don’t have systems in place to manage it all and make us more efficient. The best thing I did for myself was get a planner and a whiteboard. Let me explain.

At the beginning of each month I sit down and write out my goals and obligations for that month then I break the monthly goals down into smaller weekly chunks. For example, If I say I want to pay off a credit card this month. Week 1 goal may be to pay off $200. Week 2 may be to pay off $55 and so on and so forth until the card is completely paid off by week 4.

I also look at any obligations I have for the month. This includes any meetings for church, hair appointments for me or my toddler, birthday parties or events, etc. I write these in my planner so they don’t catch me by surprise. At the end of the week, on Saturday, I look at all of my appointments and goals for the upcoming week and write out which day I am going to do each activity on. For example: Monday: nail appointment. Tuesday: transfer $200 to credit card account. Wednesday: finish blog post. Thursday: work out and take Toni to doctor appointment. This helps give me clarity for my week and also prevents me from overloading myself on any particular day.

After I’ve had my week mapped out with all my goals and appointments, at the beginning of each day I take my white board and list my top 3 items on my to-do list. These are the things that I absolutely want or need to get done if nothing else gets accomplished that day. The goal of the top 3 is to give my day some focus and structure. Do I always complete everything on the top 3? No, but whatever doesn’t get done just gets rolled to the next day. I’ve found that this method of goal setting (and tackling) has helped me get more done with less stress.

I got this idea from Erin on Demand on YouTube. For more details on the top 3, check out her video here.

 Tip 4: Prioritize time with Jesus.

OK, so I saved the best for last.

The best antidote to an overburdened, overworked, maxed out life is the Prince of Peace Himself. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Truly, whenever we’re feeling overworked, it’s tempting to neglect our time with Him, but we make a critical mistake when we sacrifice our time with Jesus on the altar of busyness. The 23^rd Psalm says that “he restores my soul” and Acts 3:20 tells us that “times of refreshing come from the presence of the Lord.” When we take the time to pray, study the Bible and worship Him, He literally revives us.

I know its counterculture to pause and set aside time to pray or study the word, but when we prioritize our relationship with God over our to-do lists and our goals we essentially are telling Him that we trust Him to promote and prosper us, not our own efforts. Now we certainly have to put forth effort and do the work, but the work should never supersede our attention and time with God. We must choose if we will put our trust in Him or in our own power. Isaiah 40:31 declares that “those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” We have to decide if we care enough about our relationship with God to guard it against everything else, even our own ambition, ministry, family, or earthly responsibilities. I’m telling you, if you would make space for God in your schedule, you would see Him multiply your efforts and do more in the time you have left than you could ever do with your time while neglecting Him.

Final Words

While a global pandemic is nothing to celebrate, I’m grateful it gave the world time to pause. With companies closing and people sheltering indoors, many of us got the first real break we’ve had in a long time. But it shouldn’t take a pandemic for us to get control over our time and create margin in our schedules. We shouldn’t live running from one obligation to the next with little to no time to really enjoy our labor and our family and friends.

My hope is that you will take these tips and use them to open up space in your life and reduce the stress that rides in on the back of being stretched too thin We were made to enjoy this life and my prayer is that we’ll finally make the time to do so.