Letter to My Daughter | Happy 4th Birthday Toni!

Happy birthday Toni Noelle!

My sweet girl, today you turn four and I can hardly believe it. As cliché as it sounds, it really does feel like the midwife placed you in my arms just yesterday. These last four years have been the most amazing, challenging, scary, and joyful years of my life and while the days have often seemed long, the years truly have been short.

On the one hand, I wish I could slow down time. Every year you get more and more independent, more willing and able to tackle the world without needing me as much. Which is a wonderful thing, but also insanely terrifying for me. I want to be able to protect you forever. I never want you to know what it feels like to be insecure or to have your heart broken. I wish I could shield you forever from the sting of racism and sexism and every other evil thing this world has to offer. But I can’t do that, so I’ve settled on doing my best to prepare you for what’s ahead while covering you in love and prayer in the process.

I have no doubt that you’ll be fine. Even long after your daddy and I are gone, I’m confident that God will always help you keep your footing. From the moment you were born, I knew God had created you special. It’s funny because the whole time I was pregnant I prayed over your personality and temperament. I asked God to send a sweet, gentle breeze into our lives. Instead, He gave us a mighty rushing wind! And I’m so glad He knew better than me!

Toni, I’ve never seen someone so tiny be so confident and strong. I remember the time when you were just 6 months old, and we had to rush you to the ER for a fever that was WAY too high. By the time we left, they had found that you were nursing the flu and a double ear infection – all while you were teething. I’ll never forget getting home from the hospital at 3 am then waking up at 9 am to you being fully alert and playing with toys and laughing like there was nothing wrong. I mean, just one of those ailments would have any normal person out for the count, and here you were basically stomping on all three of them like they were nothing. I called your god mom and together we marveled, “Symoine, what kind of baby is this? I’ve never met anyone this strong before.”

And that’s just one example. From sickness to fear, you don’t let anything keep you from doing what you set your heart and mind to do. Your daddy and I love that about you, baby girl. Even though it’s beginning to cause conflict between you and the rules (every day we have to remind you who the boss is). Daddy and I never want to stamp out your God-given boldness and authority; instead, we’re set on teaching you to learn to take all of that authority you walk in and humbly submit to higher authority when necessary. Praise God, you’re only four. We still have time (ha!).

Toni Noelle, I tell you often, but it bears repeating, you are mama’s favorite girl. I love you with everything that is inside of me. I love that your love language is physical touch (just like Mommy’s!). You have no idea how many days your cuddles have helped soothe me and bring me joy when all I want to do is cry. I love that you love Target, and sweets, and touring model homes just like me. I love that you have your daddy’s sarcastic sense of humor (and his face and name!). I love how smart you are, how compassionate you are already. I love that since the moment I told you what foster children are, you’ve asked me to pray for “babies who don’t have homes” at night before you go to bed. I love that when we ask you “Who is Jesus?” You respond automatically and with full conviction, “GOD!”

That last revelation alone, my baby, is the most powerful thing we will ever teach you. In a world that will surely tell you there is no God, and that even if there is it certainly isn’t Jesus, I need you to know that you know that you know that Jesus Christ of Nazareth is not only God, but He’s YOUR God. See, when you understand that He’s your God, you realize that everything He has at His disposal – salvation, peace, joy, provision, and everything else that is good – is open and available to you. Mommy and Daddy can give you a lot, but it will never amount to the gifts He gives, to the gift that He is.

Baby girl, you are going to do amazing things. God’s hand is on you, and as long as you stay close to Him, He’ll never leave you or forsake you. And long after I’m gone, I pray this letter gives you joy and confidence that you were created in love, birthed in purpose, and covered by not only amazing parents but a truly outstanding God.

As you now enter year 5, my prayer for you, my child, is this:

I declare that with long life our God will satisfy you and show you His salvation.

I declare that the blessing of God which makes one rich and adds no sorrow with it rests on you every day of your life.

I declare the anointing of God that breaks chains and destroys yokes will abound in you and upon you.

I pray that you would be blessed in your coming and blessed in your going. I call you the head and not the tail. Above only and never beneath.

I pray that the Lord would be your refuge and that He would keep your foot from being caught.

I declare wealth and riches will always be in your household and that you and your children will never suffer lack.

I declare that no evil will befall you, neither shall any plague come near your dwelling. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. Your enemies will come after you in one direction and flee from you in seven.

I declare that everything you touch prospers and that God causes all things to work together for your good.

Now my sweet child, may God bless you and keep you. May He make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face toward you and give you peace.

Love,

Mama